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Micah Versus the Seven-Legged Karate Spider

SUNDAY, JUNE 18, 2023   |   POSTED BY MICAH GARTMAN

 
     
   
     
 

Happy Father's Day!

It has been 282 days since I last posted a blog update and I am pleased to finally report that absolutely nothing exciting has transpired. Sydney Sue spends his days hanging out with his air plants or sunbathing on top of his burrow. Last month he constructed a mound of dirt in his front yard, then proceeded to sit on it for a week. It has been 1,106 days since Sydney Sue's last molt with no pre-molt observed. In memoriam, 9 tasty crickets have gone to heaven.

 

 

 

     
   
     
 

If you are enjoying Father's Day in southeast Texas, you may have noticed a sudden uptick in the number of spiders wandering around your house. It is once again spider migration season and all the recently-matured males are roaming in search of a mate. They tend to be directionally challenged due to their heightened state of passion which is presumably why you will find them in your bathroom at 2 in the morning. Please do not be alarmed as I can assure you they do not want to be there any more than you do. As it turns out, these "baby daddies" are harmless wolf spiders. They may look scary but they're very timid and do not bite.

 

 

 

     
   
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To dispel the notion that wolf spiders are scary monsters, I decided to film my process for catching and releasing them back into the wild. Lycosidae are effortlessly apprehended using only a glass cup and your fingers. To start, gently place the cup on its side and slide it directly behind the spider. Then slowly slide your fingers towards him. He will instinctively run away from your fingers and into the awaiting glass. Once he's in the glass, turn it right side up. Since wolf spiders can't climb glass there is no danger that he will escape and run up your arm. Now you can transport him to the nearest exit and release him into your yard. In my many years of spider relocation, I have wrangled hundreds of spiders and have been bitten zero (0) times.

Wild animals can be unpredictable so it's important to stay vigilant as you detain a spider. He is lost and out of his element so we don't want to injure him or cause any additional stress. Most spiders are compliant and do not resist being apprehended—but there is a chance you could cross paths with a more fearless specimen. As it happens, that is the exact spider I randomly chose to film for this demonstration:

 

 

 

     
   
     
 

Not. One. Bite. That dude was a fighter! I haven't seen moves like that since Steven Seagal fought Shacky Chan! It wasn't until afterwards that I noticed he was missing a leg—he probably lost it while mating. And did you notice that he didn't bite? Not even once?

So, if you happen to find a wolf spider in your living room, please grab a glass and scoop him up. They are cool little critters that play a significant role in our ecosystem and do not deserve to be introduced to the sole of a shoe. Have a fantastic Father's Day, an awesome summer and remember:

Be nice to spiders :)

 

 

 

     
   
     
 
 
     
 

MISSING: Large Fuzzy Spider

I check in on Sydney Sue every morning. I like to wish him a good morning and see what shenanigans he was up to overnight. He's usually sitting on top of his rock or snuggling with one of his air plants. But one morning I didn't see him anywhere. Did he escape? I felt a rush of terror until I finally spotted those cute gold rings. Sneaky Sydney Sue!

 
     
   
     
 
 
     
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